Contains Controversial/Difficult Topics ELITE MIND [lack of sleep + delusions]

Foxpaw

Grinning Cheshire
Mar 8, 2021
144
31
28
Bones
600
LA LA LAND

[Big CW for intense delusions]
How long had it been? Wait, since what? Since genuine happiness? Perhaps the day in the flowers with her father, since a good night of sleep? Two... three sunrises? Perhaps more?
A parade of questions rang in Fox Trots head as she watched the sun come up once more, a sleepless night once again gracing her. She wasn't sure when it began to haunt her, maybe after all those hours in a day studying various plants, maybe watching her newly discovered aunt prance around and make friends, perhaps when the glares from her half brothers had actually begun to sting. The sunrise splashed molly turned onto her back, her eyes droopy but still refusing to close. She slept under the stars now, she was old enough to, and it was much better than the now crowded nursery, but no soothing breeze could seem to lull her. After laying there, pondering her life, the girl finally rose to her paws, keeping up her morning routine of struggling to get out of her nest, the changing of her positions was still hard for her, still caused a strain on her joints and bones. Her paws hit the frosty ground, and she couldn't suppress and shiver, she hated the morning frost.
She went to get her stash of study herbs when she heard a whisper fly by her ear.
Psst! Psst! Over here Foxy!
Fox Trot's head whirled from side to side, trying to find the source of the delicate voice until she spotted its source. Some sort of bug buzzed right in front of her, was it... talking to her?
Hey! I'm talking to you cripple!
Fox Trot's ears flattened, not only was it talking to her- it was rude! "Why're you talking to me?" Her raspy morning voice asked the buzzing bug.
I'm your friend Fox Trot, as your friend it's my duty to remind you that you will never amount to anything.
"Hey!" Fox Trot protested, a burning sensation beginning to well up in her throat, desperate to keep the tears down.
Stupid little girl- you think your sum' special? Another success story? Who do you think you are, I SAID WHO DO YOU THINK YOU-
Fox Trot quickly began to swipe at the bug, but it quickly dodged her every move, zipping around the air like it was taunting her- it was taunting her!
Stupid little girl, depressed, pitiful, how does it feel to have to share your family with the whole clan? Huh- huh?!
"ARGH!" Fox Trot hissed through gritted teeth, finally squashing the bug with a violent strike. It was dead, the voice was gone, yet tears were still threatening to spill.
ya can't get rid of me! haha!
Oh stars, when did the shrubs have mouths? Why were they speaking?
A terrified mew escaped Fox Trot when the plant began to smile at her? Hundreds of pointed, yellowed, blood-stained teeth were bared to the molly, Fox Trot suddenly felt sick. "G-go away!" Fox Trot sobbed, turning on her heel to hobble as fast as she could away from there, barreling through the entrance. Panicked breaths escaped her as her world spun, barely coming to a stop when the breeze-swept grass began to move a little too.. lively.
Stupid little girl! Good-for-nothing! Can't even walk!
The grass began to grow mouths, their lips stained a dark crimson. Soon, what felt like hundreds of voices began to chant, to scream, shrieking at her and overwhelming her senses. They drowned out Fox Trot's own screams, her high pitched, terror-filled screech as she hurled over, curling into herself, Fox Trot swept her paws up to her ears in an attempt to cover the growing sounds of the chanting and her own screech, but the movement caused her to topple over, and there she sat, a curled up, heaving, screaming mess as her own mind turned against her.
[essiantally she is now right outside the camp, imaging the grass around her is verbally abusing/screaming at her]
"Speech"
 

TAWNY DOVE

✩ | BARBED
Oct 22, 2020
393
110
43
Bones
20


⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ The screaming right out of camp probably got just about everyone on their paws, including Tawny who poked his head out of the gorse tunnel. Burning yellow eyes land upon the young feline in distress, and looking around Tawny Dove was absolutely confused as to what was so upsetting to her. He wasn't the best at emotional support, and a good part of him just simply wanted to step aside and wait for her parents to show up. Besides, he wasn't quite sure if her parents would be rather fond of him attempting to comfort her daughter.

That shouldn't let him get in the way of being a good clan-mate though, should he?
"What happened? Whats wrong?" Tawny Dove would awkwardly ask, slowly approaching the other.


31281830_n0VqkkDQsVtUlgb.png

( primary character / "speech" / ic opinions }​
╰ ★ ჻ 001 GENERAL INFORMATION ,
· TAWNY . male — he / him
╰ ‣ 29 moons . ages on the 2nd of every month
╰ ‣ windclan . deputy

╰ ★ ჻ 002 VISUALS & AESTHETICS ,
· DOMESTIC FELINE, status — 65%
╰ ‣ small light brown tabby tom with yellow eyes . crooked jaw . nick in the right ear

╰ ★ ჻ 003 MENTALITY & MANNERISMS ,
· (INTP-T) ❝ THE LOGICIAN ❞ , ravenclaw, lawful good
╰ ‣ courageous. loyal. sharp-tongued
╰ ‣ finds it difficult to relate to others .

╰ ★ ჻ 004 INTERACTIONS & RELATIONSHIPS ,
· MINNOW x OWL
╰ ‣ heterosexual . crushing on birdy
╰ ‣ average fighter . average hunter .
╰ ‣ may start fights . will stop fights . will flee . will kill if must
╰ ‣ attacks in bold . penned by myth​
 

ficklethorn.

𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖎𝖉 𝖔𝖓𝖊
May 1, 2021
18
16
3
Bones
110
DON'T YOU DARE FORGET THE SUN, LOVE

Ficklethorn understood more than most what it was like to hallucinate, to see and hear things that weren't there. Being a Schizophrenic made his life ten times harder than he needed it to be, but he wouldn't wish his illness onto anyone else around him. As terrible as it was, he was used to it.

His ears flicked when he heard a shouting, followed by soft sobbing. He pondered for a bit, trying to decide if the noise was really real, or just another audible hallucination. His eyes narrowed, a low huff leaving his lips before he turned to follow the sound- where he found Tawnydove standing there with a worried look on his face.

Glancing around the male, Ficklethorn's eyes widened when he saw the creature crouched down with their paws over their ears.

Oh..

"Is.. Everything.. Okay?"

The abstract mixture of voices in the background buzzed about, but the dominant voices were the real ones- right before him. He blinked idly, the exhaustion something he could understand. He knew what it was like to suffer like such.. He felt for the creature.
 

Livid Brook

「Twιѕтed Fαтe」
Feb 11, 2021
202
65
28
Bones
105




Her daughter's panicked voice jolted the fluffy lilac she-cat awake, hazel eyes flashing wide open to see her little diluted tortie stumbling to the camp entrance. "Fox Trot!" The mother would immediately launch to white-toed paws as the child barreled through the gorse tunnel- Outside of camp. Out of bounds. Blazing firey evergreens would dart in the direction of the leader's hideaway behind tallrock, a flare of rage coursing her veins for this damned punishment. She could receive another sentencing for all she cared about when she returned but right now, she was going after her kitten. Frays of fur drifted after the sudden quick pace of the molly, her strides purposeful. What had spooked her daughter? What didn't she know? Already did the mother feel like a failure after everything, trying her best to hold the family together but it just kept crumbling before her eyes.

She wasn't the first to the scene, there were two toms and surprisingly one being the one she had disfigured. The lanky brown tabby was awkward with his approach, as if uncertain if he should really be caring for her kit. It was the moment that she felt a sense of weariness that had built up for the tom ebb slightly. Regardless of her actions, it wouldn't be brought upon Fox Trot, at least not by him. There was the other male present as well, showing his own concern over her daughter to which the Scottish-fold would remember him for that. Now her eyes were trained upon the crouched figure of the diluted sunset and night. "Fox Trot.." She'd creep slowly over to the young molly, before attempting to gently place her pink nose to the child's shoulder.




Love don't come easy to ustags

Name: Livid Brook

Age: 42 Moons

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She|Her|Hers

Group: Windclan

Rank: Queen

Appearance: LH lilac classic tabby {Scottish-fold} - Hazel eyes that can be explained best as a fusion of yellow and green. All four paws having white toes. Extremely fluffy, to the point that she may be considered fat.



 

Foxpaw

Grinning Cheshire
Mar 8, 2021
144
31
28
Bones
600
LA LA LAND

Her screaming had faded away, now in the form of rough and ragged breaths, her voice would be cracked and coarse if this ever ended. Tawny's voice was a mere buzz amongst the continuous chanting, but somehow Fox Trot was able to still hear him enough to struggle out a response. "Their screaming! Th... their screaming at me! Make it stop make it stop!" She rasped out, sobs creating an obstacle on her mission to finish her plea. She hardly noticed the stranger that arrived on the scene as well, her mind running a mile a minute with the delusions, her violent shaking, and the fact that she was struggling to breathe, coming out in shallow but rasped heaves.
Fox Trot
Was that her mother? Or just another mind game? "I want my momma and dad" she sobbed into the ground. The chanting had all blended together into a tornado of screams and calls, she had squinted her eyes so tight, that when something touched her she flinched back, claws instinctively unsheathing, "get away! Get away!" She cried, only opening her eyes after a flail, an attempt to escape, only then did she see her mothers yellow optics staring back at her, Fox Trot wanted to swim in their warmth, she wanted this nightmare fuel to end. "Make them stop momma, make them stop screaming at me, momma their s-so horrible" she croaked, her breath repeatedly snagging on her sobs, causing the words to pitifully splutter out.
"Speech"
 

.Biting Rat.

❝ HYPOCRITE ❞
Feb 11, 2021
257
107
43
Bones
399

His daughter's screams, crying for him and Livid, pulled the tom from his hunt, standing tall as the hare he'd been about to hunt hopped away, forgotten by the ebony tom as he froze, turning to slowly make his way in the direction of where he heard it, at first slow but picking up until he was racing across the moor towards camp, the worse entering his mind, tormenting him as his heart pounded in time with his steps. Once he came upon the scene, he wasted no time, slipping next to Livid and Fox, his shadowy tail curling around his little bug, concern and panic in his eyes, only thing he can think about is getting help. His gaze looked to Fickle and Tawny, his voice tense and commanding in his panic, snapped out in frustration at them just standing there, "Don't just stand there, someone get Birdy or-or anyone! Can't you see she needs help?" His eyes were lost of any ego or pride he's ever held, scared desperately for his daughter.

He looked back down, hushing in an attempted comforting tone, worry dripping into his words, "Nobody is screaming bug, we're right here. Mommy and daddy got you." He reached out, attempting to pull her small frame between him and Livid, rasping his tongue comfortingly over her head, his body purring to try to soothe her in his futile attempts, looking at Livid with fearful eyes. He didn't know what he was doing, he didn't know what to do he just hoped what he was doing was helping, was quelling whatever was plaguing her.
"speech"
I HAVE TO CHANGE, IT'S NOW OR NEVERtags
Name: Biting Rat
Age: 38 moons
Gender: cisgender male
Pronouns: he/him
Group: Windclan
Rank: warrior
Appearance: scrawny, scarred up black oriental longhair tom with overgrown top fangs and hazel eyes
 
Oct 24, 2020
199
50
28
Bones
380

It did not take long for word of the child's episode to reach Birdy's ears, and the screams of the girl were very hard to miss. Frantic, but keeping her cool, Birdy's delicate feet danced across the medicine den, deft as she collected all she could- marigold, cobwebs, bindweed, sticks, lavender- even her beloved horsetail. But as she arrived upon the scene, no blood ran a red river across the moor, no bone showed through skin. Just- the convulsions of Fox Trot, her sobs, complaining of screaming that... no one could hear but her. Illness of the mind was something Birdy was less experienced in treating, but she stepped over carefully, trying to keep her adrenaline down, to keep the frantic shaking of her legs in check.

Sorting through her herbs, lavender was the only thing that presented herself that she found appropriate to use. And even then... this may just be something they would have to wait out, like with Mallow's episodes. "Try not to- to- to shout," A quiet urge to those who had gathered, but firm nonetheless. "Stay by her side, but- but assure her quietly. Don't say what- what- she's saying isn't happening, please." Because in Fox Trot's mind, before this child, there was screaming. It was happening. Creeping up to the she-cat's face, Birdy delicately placed a sprig of lavender before her, close enough for her to receive the calming scent, but not strong enough that it would further overwhelm her. "Fox Trot, you- you're safe, okay? Your parents are here, and they will look after you. I- I know it must be very scary."

/ retro to name change!
[ PENNED BY PIN ]
 
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ficklethorn.

𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖎𝖉 𝖔𝖓𝖊
May 1, 2021
18
16
3
Bones
110

DON'T YOU DARE FORGET THE SUN, LOVE

The arrival of the little one's parents made Ficklethorn's eyes widen, stepping away from them with a nervous gate as he squinted his eyes. Seeing something that wasn't there, feeling and seeing things. It was terrifying, he knew that. His mouth opened, shutting closed when Birdy came over. His head dipped in greeting to the medicine cat, moving aside to allow her a chance to help the wailing kit.

"I-It's.. Scary, isn't it?"

The mink tom meowed to the young kit, talking softly to her. His eyes blinked, head tilting in an odd reflex before fixing himself and going back to normal. A certain discomfort, never being able to stay still.

She's just like you, haha!

Ears tilted back at the sounds of the familiar voice, biting the inside of his cheek as he settled down beside the group. Not too close, not too far.

"The voices, don't shut them out. Biting Rat and Livid Brook, is it..? Birdy's right, don't tell her the voices aren't happening. For.. For people like us, they'll never go away."

Even if the kit wasn't suffering from the same illness as he, he still wanted to be a source of comfort for someone. Anyone. To realize that he wasn't alone, and neither was the little she-cat.

"What's your name, little one?"

A distraction. A way to calm her, along with the lavender offered to her.
 
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DRY ROT

outsider
Mar 24, 2021
138
52
28
Bones
10
not many would be able to ignore the screams and shouts in the middle of camp, and dry rot would not be part of that few. yowls and cries of distress making his neck snap back with incredible force, whipping around the nursery for some unknown cause of production. it took only moments to realize it was not from inside, but outside. it took only seconds for the stubby kitten to crawl to his feet, leaving the confines of a full morning. not quite ready for the scene playing out before him.

fox trot. normally a happy cat (despite his cruel wishes otherwise), racked with a level of fear he wasn't certain he had even felt before.

"make them stop momma, make them stop screaming at me, momma their s-so horrible"

the words wrenched at dry rot's gut. twisted and weaving his intestines into a ball. infectious fear of the highest degree, but fear of.. what? the kitten was looking to each side of the small hollow, trying to pick out the threat once more. yet, no matter where green eyes bounced there was nothing but onlookers and npc's watching with horror. it was pitiful to watch the three legged she-cat squirm in her - their - father's arms. that's when dry rot backed up a step. feeling the tickle of gorse on his hind as he backed into the nursery wall, feeling his own form of dread, regret.

there would be no kind words for fox trot no matter how hard he could try to conjure them. she was protected already, with soft soothing words of two caring parents. brown ears flattened against his skull, skin tight. gnawing against his lip with ferocity. no, today he would give fox a different gift. he would leave her be. standing tight against the nursery wall and watching with soft discontent and a warped form of jealousy.

internally he knew his anger was wrong, but it couldn't be stopped. overflowing and mixing with her fear to create a stomach ache worthy of killing a cat.
 

Foxpaw

Grinning Cheshire
Mar 8, 2021
144
31
28
Bones
600
LA LA LAND

Voices... so many voices. Fathers, Birdwhispers... she couldn't take it!
Nobody is screaming
The words from her father struck hurt in her heart, when her mind is clear, she would be able to tell when he meant no ill intentions behind his words, but at this moment her mind was not clear, it was working against her, trying to create a war between insanity and reality. "I-I'm not lying!" She sputtered out, her body unable to stop is violent trembling. Birdy's words were the next to catch her attention, Fox Trot's vision warped, trying to focus solely on Birdy, a coping mechanism to try and keep the screaming at bay, the taunting. "I-I want them to stop" she mewed, her appearance pitiful. She didn't see the lavender, only smelled it, it's calming properties trying their hardest to work. The scent of the lavender moved her tunneled vision to a strange cat, someone unfamiliar to her, but his voice, his words, he knew what it was like. "When does it end?" She sniffled softly, her gaze almost pleading with pain. What was her name? Her name... Fox Trot! How could she have forgotten that?
Moron! Dim-wit! Mouse brain!
The voices chanted behind her, and she believed them. "Fox Trot" she murmured simply, not even being able to acknowledge Dry Rot's presence, but she could feel his gaze burning into her, and she was scared of what she would see if she were to break away from Ficklethorns empathetic gaze, scared of what would happen if she were to let the voices being to drown her again.
"Speech"
 

Livid Brook

「Twιѕтed Fαтe」
Feb 11, 2021
202
65
28
Bones
105




The look sprawled in the hazel hues of the fanged male matched her internally, she'd gently bump her head into his an attempt for assurance for him before her attention was back upon her daughter. What could they do? They couldn't see what she was, hear what she was hearing..? Why was this happening? Her gaze would shift quickly up to meet with the words of Birdy then to the cream mink, both advising not to tell her they weren't real. Wouldn't that assurance make it worse though? Livid Brook would bite back uncertainty, steeling up her own distress to address Fox Trot's.

"It's okay, kitten." She'd murmur gently, "Look how many cats are here. Your daddy and I are here. Nothings going to get you, they can't get you." She'd try to comply with acknowledging the unknown beings, even though she'd much rather drink in whatever toxic had poisoned her child's mind and bear it herself so that the tortoiseshell wouldn't have to. She'd gently nuzzle her head against the side of the young molly, her gaze somehow finding the cinnamon-brown onlooker. Sympathy ached for the child pinned against the nursery's outer walls, as it always did when she'd see one of Biting Rat's children. Maybe she'd try an approach with them..? Her focus was returned upon her own blood to see if she had any effect, hoping that this would not be a permanent case. If her child had to suffer every day.. As a mother, she'd feel it tenfold.


Love don't come easy to ustags

Name: Livid Brook

Age: 43 Moons

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She|Her|Hers

Group: Windclan

Rank: Queen

Appearance: LH lilac classic tabby {Scottish-fold} - Hazel eyes that can be explained best as a fusion of yellow and green. All four paws having white toes. Extremely fluffy, to the point that she may be considered fat.



 
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ficklethorn.

𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖎𝖉 𝖔𝖓𝖊
May 1, 2021
18
16
3
Bones
110
"Fox Trot.. That's a pretty name, your mama did a good job naming you."

The cream point mink gave a gentle smile to the small femme, pushing the lavender a bit closer with his tail before he himself settled down beside the group. The fuzzy noise in his head causes him to close his eyes, head tilting and shaking as the voices started up. They were part of his imagination. His brain thought them up, but he would acknowledge them with a mutter of, "quiet". At the question of when it'll end, Ficklethorn's smile lowered into a sad look. When would it end, she asked.. Even he didn't know the answer to that.

"I'm.. unsure of when it'll end. They usually quiet down when I sleep. You could try to rest?"

The tom meowed in response, tail lashing side to side before his paw reached out and grabbed it, holding it still.

"It might be scary, but they won't hurt you. Tell them to leave you alone. If you talk to them, you might learn more about them. But if they keep calling you names, then they're just being mean. Whatever they say about you isn't true, alright?"
 
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